Sex is a highly complex part of our lives and it is influenced by our current moods and emotions outside the bedroom. If we are depressed, tired or ill, we will have little inclination for it. One of the most common and frustrating problems a couple can face is that one partner wants sex much more than the other. It is important to
It is important to realize that no matter how well matched you are there will be times when your sex drives are out of phase with each other. Like any other appetite, desire for sex waxes and wanes. It is a popular myth that men are always ready and willing for sex, but they are not. If you find there is a substantial difference in your appetites, you will need to work out some long-term strategy that prevents you feeling continually dissatisfied, rejected and unloved and for your partner not to feel
If you find there is a substantial difference in your appetites, you will need to work out some long-term strategy that prevents you feeling continually dissatisfied, rejected and unloved and for your partner not to feel he is continually under pressure to have sex more than he wants. Remember sex need not involve intercourse. Even if your partner is not aroused himself he can still arouse you using manual or oral stimulation. To awaken
Remember sex need not involve intercourse. Even if your partner is not aroused himself he can still arouse you using manual or oral stimulation. To awaken desire for sex, the following suggestions may be helpful.
- Make love somewhere other than in bed (on a chair, sofa, etc).
- Take a bath or shower together.
- Create an intimate atmosphere with music and candlelight.
- Give each other a massage with scented body oils.
- Make love at an unusual time.
- Make love in the dark if you usually prefer some light and vice versa.
- Allow enough time for lovemaking. Don’t make an issue of masturbation because sometimes a man finds it easier to achieve and sustain an erection this way. It’s possible that he’s noticed some differences in his performance which are perfectly normal but worrying for him.
Ageing does have an influence on sex. It takes a man longer to become sexually aroused and his erection may not be as strong. He may need much more direct manual or oral stimulation of his penis. His erection will not be quite as hard or its angle as acute as when he was younger. Orgasms themselves may be less intense than before. And because ejaculation generally becomes less powerful with age, semen seeps rather than spurts out.
Many men feel desire should be spontaneous, that they should not need direct stimulation in order to become aroused. This is not the case, even less so as as they grow older. So encourage your partner to let you arouse him.